It’s your fault


Living in the (pardon my French) shithole I have been for roughly the past year has made me realize several things, the latest of which probably being the most important to take to the future.

And let me preface it by saying that I’m loving it here.

The latest thing I realized came from a conversation with my flatmate. I realized something that I’ve always known and believed, but probably never “got.”

I’ve realized that we have to be enough by ourselves. Not being enough will make us unhappy, no matter the place we’re living in.

You see, that’s something everyone will tell you. People say you can’t run away from your problems, people say that sure, your surroundings might be affecting you negatively, but moving away won’t help too much; other things are gonna come up and you’ll have to deal with them instead. Maybe this immediate problem won’t be an issue anymore, but every place is imperfect and every place will have you face a different part of yourself.

People say that all the time, and they’re all right.

People also don’t understand how I can love living here as much as I do. People look at me and start going over their list of bad things about this place: there’s very few people, there’s no train station, you have to take a bus for 45 minutes for almost anything you have to buy, you don’t have the option to meet new people, there are no social or cultural events, etc, etc, etc… And then finish by asking “how can you be happy living there?”

Well, partially because I already know I’m moving again in July, but even before that was definite, it didn’t stop me from being happy.

It’s quite simple, really. And it’s not about seeing the good parts of something bad (although that helps), it’s about being ultimately happy and satisfied with yourself. It’s about knowing you’re inherently good and you’re working on any problems you have, anything that comes up, anything that affects you negatively.

It’s about being ready to put in the work to become better, and by becoming better, you can make your environment better. Even in a shithole.

  • Anjelus

    Two relevant quotes for you:

    “You need a change of soul rather than a change of habit. Though you cross vast spaces of sea, your faults will follow behind. Socrates made the same remark to one who complained; he said, “Why do you wonder that globe trotting does not help you, seeing that you always take yourself with you? The reason which set you wandering is ever at your heels.”

    ^^^ Seneca ^^^ (but half Socrates too I suppose)

    “Men seek retreats for themselves — in the country, by the sea, in the hills — and you yourself are particularly prone to this yearning. But this is yearning is a mark of the most common sort of men; it is open to you, at any time you want, to retreat into yourself. No retreat offers someone more quiet and relaxation than that into his own mind.”

    ^^^ Marcus Aurelius ^^^

    It’s perfectly possible to be content anywhere, and it’s even desirable to train yourself to be so. Take care.

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